Terrified
by Blue Zombie
Summary: Dally's thoughts and concerns about Johnny while they are at the church.


Johnny, man. Sometimes I felt like I didn't give a shit about anyone but him. It was weird. I didn't care about my parents any, I really didn't. My old man was just a drunk. So was Johnny's, but somehow it bothered him. I mean, my old man would clobber me over the head for whatever and I just didn't care. I took off for good when I was 13, but I didn't care, but Johnny does. And there's something that I like about that. I like that he still cares about shit that I can't care about anymore.

Then at the movies he told me to lay off the soc girls. Had anyone else said anything like that I would have hit them, knocked out a tooth for sure. Even Ponyboy, I would have whacked him upside the head if he said anything like that. Just a good whack so I wouldn't get in trouble with his brothers. But anyone else would have lost teeth. But Johnny, man? No way. I itched to hit him, I admit that. No one tells me what to do, not ever. But that ain't true, I suppose. Johnny can. Not that he does. He doesn't say "boo" usually. But he said lay off those girls and I had no choice but to do what he said.

And that time we found him all beat up in the lot? Now, I have seen some grisly shit, in New York and even here, I've seen murders in New York. There are some nasty drugs up there and people will do anything, they get this wild animal look in their eyes. They'll do anything. I've seen people lying dead in gutters, against alley walls, half their head blown off. It doesn't bother me. Nothing bothers me. But that day in the lot, Johnny lying there all bloody and not moving, and I thought…I thought he was dead for a minute and I knew I wouldn't be able to take it. Then he moaned and Soda went over to him, cradled him in his arms and brushed his hair back from his forehead and he started talking , telling us about the socs. I sighed with this relief so deep. He'd be okay, more or less.

Now this. I'm sleeping off that fight with Shepard and Ponyboy and Johnny come to the door, Ponyboy shivering and soaking wet, Johnny just terrified. They're standing there and it's gotta be two in the morning. What mess have they gotten themselves into? Pony says Johnny killed a soc. This is information that doesn't quite make it into my brain. What? Johnny? That kid wouldn't hurt a thing. He never got into fights, not if he could help it. He got jumped, that's different. He got beat by his old man, and that's different, too. Steve and Two-bit and Soda and me, we got into fights. It would happen, someone would say the wrong thing or push us the wrong way and then you got the guy in a headlock and you're pounding the hell out of them, and they're pounding the hell out of you. Or you've got a blade and they have a tire iron and someone could get hurt pretty bad but you don't care. Johnny didn't do that kind of shit, he never has.

Now he's done something I've never even done. He killed someone. Jesus Christ. And I was terrified. What would happen? Jail? I couldn't picture Johnny in jail, or juvie since he was 16. But that juvie would change to jail soon enough, and they'd stick him in the electric chair, of course they would. He killed a soc, a rich kid, shit. I knew how money could talk. If the rich kid killed him he'd get off nearly scott free, maybe a little slap on the wrist, the judge saying, "now don't do that again," but not Johnny. Johnny was poor as shit and wouldn't get no good lawyer.

I wouldn't let that happen. No way. I had a cousin way out in the sticks who told me about a good hideout in case of any shit like this. That's where I'd send them. I got them extra clothes and money and a gun and sent them to that abandoned church way the fuck out in Windrixville.

Now it was time to worry. I didn't worry about nothing except Johnny. That goddamn kid. Killing a soc, Jesus. How could he do that? I knew the soc must have deserved it, course he did. But still, still. This kind of shit did not turn out well. This kind of shit, it wasn't so easy to solve. I thought ahead, you know. They were up in that church and that would be fine for now, but then what? They couldn't fucking live there. Maybe I wouldn't be able to protect him this time.

I'd have Darry and Sodapop breathing down my neck about Pony, if they suspected that I knew anything, which they would. I always knew something. But as far as Johnny went there wouldn't be anyone. His parents wouldn't say nothing, and probably wouldn't even notice he was gone. Johnny's parents, man, they were bad. They were both these raging alcoholics, they didn't work, just got this disability shit. They spent it all on alcohol. Johnny drank, though. I kinda thought he might want to lay off that stuff. I mean, he didn't drink a lot, like Two-bit and me. But he drank enough, you know? He might want to watch it. There was a pretty good chance he'd turn out to be an alcoholic, too.


End file.
